On my 15 birthday you cut my birthday cake up which the two ladies gave me
You told me to take the plate around to give a piece each to the children. By the time
it was my turn to have a piece there was none left.
I went without my birthday cake.
I could not ask anyone for a taste.
What did you think I was as a child? Noe a human being thats for sure
I am writting this letter
on the 10th May 1998
And I can not see for the tears in my eyes.
I can see the three of you now tying my to the bed post, that big buckle belt and cord
you thrashed my with would cut into my skin. as you kept on flogging me. Each whack got harder and harder
I can feel and see it all so clearly, as though it werehappening today.
I once saw a horse tied to a post with four men whippinh her to break her spirit.
Is this why you ties me to the post of the bed, when you whipped me
My spirit was broken when I was five years old, I would be what you call the living
With no mind of my own.
Did you not know, that it was because of you hitting me on my knuckles with the side
of the ruler was why I could not do any school work. I was so scared of you.
I could hear your rosary beads as you walked along the corridor outside the classroom
You never once said a kind word to me.
Your words were a belt or cord of action
Which caused my misery of extreme pain
of body and mind
How could you do this to me?
I was a child, who no one wanted.
No where to go for help.
It was as though you ripped my life and heart right out of me
I have feeling too
I hurt so much
You knew what you were doing to me
I can not show my children how much I feel for them. I love them so very much
I feel awkward whenever I kiss them
or give them a hug.
It is as though there is a brick wall in front of me which I can't knock down.
I would give everything to see you all face to face and tell you how I felt then
and how, because of what you did to me, is what I am today.
I am a Lady and Mother
with no faith in anyone or for myself.
You would tell me to hung my head in shame
while you told me off and said
those hurtful words to me.
I had to put my hands behind my back and
look down at the floor
I was not allowed to look at you.
Sister Whilamina told me in Novenber, 1997, that you suffered from migraines.
You know whenever you were sick you would go away for three to four days.
This did not give you the right to mistreat me.
I too suffered from migraines because of the two falls and the slapping across
my face and ears.
I had to stay there and suffer in silence.
My head and ears poun and throb still
everyday with pain.
She also told me that sister Simeon died of cancer. I had cancer in my right kidney
after a four hour opperation I had my kidney
removed on 19th March 1990
I did not go around beating my family, when I was in pain
I now have spinal arthrits
and the pain is so unbearable sometimes
that I have injections
in my spine to help ease the pain
They say to forgive you for what you sais and did to me. But I can't.
Didn't you see me hurting?
Didn't you see the pain I was in?
Couldn't you see the fear i had for you? by the way I would move away from you
and hide behind the girls.
I was so frightened of you.
Didn't you see the fear on my face?
Is that why you told me to hung my head in Shame?