If only I was told the truth

when I was a child.

For I was told I had no mother

And that I was no body's child

life for me was so bad

With all the hate and fear

Which the nuns had put Inside my little head

 

If only my mother had not let me go

When the catholic church took me away

From her arms which held me tight

For they took me away to Christchurch

So many miles away

To an orphanage run by nuns

And this is were

all my nightmares had begun

 

If only there was a little love in these homes

Because the nuns were so hard and cold

They striped me of any love 

I should have known

And left me feeling so very cold

 

If only I could talk and tell

of what the nuns did to me

the unwanted child

as it was all hidden

behind big heavy doors

for no one saw the abuse

 which the nuns had done

So many many times before

 

If only there was some one who cared for me

Or looked into my sad eyes

They would have seen the pain I was in

Because no one asked me why I cried

 

If only the church stayed my sate place

as I went to church on Sunday for mass 

I was pulled out of line

To be slapped across my face and ears  

And 1 always wonder why

no one took any notice of me or cared

 

If only some one took my hand

and held it tight

And told me I was not alone

But no one ever cared for me

Or saw the fear I was in

that showed on my face

 

If only the nuns looked at me

As 1 bent my head

and turned away in same

For what the nuns did

and said I was

Would tear at my heart

and make me cry

Because to them it was just a game

 

If only 1 was shown some kindness

While in those very cold homes

1 was pushed down on my knees

by my hair

And told to apologized

to the nun standing there

While with her belt coming down

across my back

I did not know the wrong

that I had done

But still it went on like this every day

And the nuns would not forget

 about the abuse the next day

 

If only 1 had died when I was a little child

I would not have to face the nuns today

About the abuse they did to me

As the fear for them is still within

And the pain 1 feel is so deep .

For the Nazareth House nuns were so cruel 

It was as though they were possessed

with evil within