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Ann Free Spirit | Synopsis | Mother Francis of Rome | Rev. Fr. Thomas Doyle | We Stand By You Rev. Fr. Doyle | A Letter of Hope | A Little Help Fom a Friend | From a Friend | A Priest Doing God's Work | Innocents was Taken | Mr. Savano | Pope John Paul II | Pope John Paul II | Nun Suddened by the Truth | Shield accused nun | Abuse by nun's hands, not God's | Together we Stand | Priest Abusing Nuns | Next to Godliness.. | First Stirke Out | The New Cardinals | Catholic News Site | The Testament Site | Reaching: Out to Stuart & Paul | A Little Child Stands in Line | A Lonly Little Child | Nobody's Child | Rosary Beads in The Hall | I Give You My Hand In Friendship | When I Hear These Things | One More Nights Sleep | If Only | Humpty Dumpty | I Love You | Don't Let Go Until Tomorrow | My Dearest Lover | The Lonely Rose | How Did I Survive???? | Children Need Love | A Friend is What I Want to Find | I Give You My Hand In Friendship | When the Night Comes | Who Am I??? | There Are So Many Tears | Maria, What I see in You | Re-abuse | You Were Always Here With me | Fear Within 2003 | Elvis!!! | My Life Was Stolen From Me | God Is My Witness | I want My Freedom From My Torment & Pain | Give Me my Time to Heal. | Nuclear War | When the nuns had their fates | How do They Live With Themseleves? | Re-abuse 2002 | We Want Our Faith Back | Spiritual Abuse | My Faith was Strong | Trust was Broken | I Cry Each Day | Bless me Father | Hear our Cries | The nuns Picked on the same children | Apologize to us | Like Saints and Martyrs | Half Truths | Tell The World the Truth | No More Lies | Nun wrongly claimed dead | Hurt so Bad | Acknowledgment & Justice | Innocent Unwanted Children of Nazareth House | My Family | Our Wedding Day 1965 | My Son Robert 1 | My Son Robert II | My Daughter Joanne | My Daughter Rachel | My Daughter Bridget | My Four Grand Children | My Mother's Family | Mother I | Mother I

First Strike Out

The Path to Healing
Now not once have we seen this been followed through
and the priest are
let lose on innocent children again and again
and I repeat this
as my friends in New Zealand
said to our lawyers.
Once a pedophile always a pedophile.
You have to walk in our shoes to feel our pain.

You see, when you come out of a room
after you have been raped,
you see
no one and you walk no where,
because the pain is so great
and after
people have seen the blood
they do not see the child's face of shame
and torment,
never again to be an innocent child
and never again to
trust anyone.

How do you think we can forgive
after what was done to us as little
innocent children?
and this is why we call on God to forgive,
because we can not.
We live our lives of shame for the rest of our lives
and I for one
will never be alone with a priest ever again.

And yes, I am going to see a counselor next week,
so please God I will
be helped to see things in a different light.
I can not for the life of
think how a priest
can do what they did to children and not a thing is
done about it.
Where is the justice in this
and we see these priest go
out to do it again and again.


I found out in 1997 at a Reunion of the
first orphanage I was at, when
a women came up to me
and told me after 40 years that she knew three
out of the eight women who sexually abused me
and then I was to find out
that I was not the only baby
they had picked out to sexually abuse each
This sexual abuse by the same women
had gone on for many years
and you know I left Christchurch
because of the fear of someone coming
up to me and saying this to me
and would you believe it, that is just
what happened.
I was so gutted It killed me
and still is tormenting

Sexual abuse of babies
and little innocent children is such a
I can not put this into words
because no words on
this earth
are bad enough to describe how I am feeling right now.
I am so lost
and I have lost my soul with My God
and I don't know what to do
because they have sent the two priest away
whom I have
seen and one of them I had just got to know
and I was starting to look
forward to see him again.
But that will never happen because they have
sent him away from town
and he is hundreds of miles away.

He was a gentle priest
and I could see how children looked up to him.
I thought to myself,
this priest will be the start for me
to see at long
last the true faith
which I could see through him
how he loved his God
and he spoke of God,
with love
and he talked of God,
in ways I had
never heard before.
It was like my God and his God
were two different Gods.
His God was love while my God was hate.
Now I will never know the
really true God Fr, Mike
talked about
with love.