I looked up to the priest and nuns and the day the priest sexually abused me

[which I did not know this at that time]

I lost all faith in the church and this is because I knew he had done something to me and I felt it was wrong and that I had done something bad to be punished this way by a priest.

Now once I realised that the priest had sexually abused me, all thoughts were going through my head,

What if he had got me pregnant,

I would not have known how this would have happened to me, but the priest had already given the nuns that answer by telling them I was seeing boys.

I did not.

The priest lied to the nuns.

I can not go to church.

I did not take my children to the church,

I did not send my children to a Catholic school. How do you think I live from day to day? with this guilt within me of not following my faith and by letting my children down. It is this which is hurting me so and my faith with God, is what the priest took away from me that day.

And now no priest will see me and it is tearing me apart. Sexual abuse by a priest is so wrong and it never leaves you. It is there in the front of your mind all the time and you can not face it full on because of the trust which was broken for any Priest and most of all he destoryed my time with God.

I am so lost without my faith.