like Saints and Martyrs

The nuns always told me when I was sick

or in pain

That I had to suffer

The pain for God,

Like the saints and martyrs had.

I thought,

if they could suffer so much pain,

then I could too.

This was one reason why I did not complain,

and,

when I did,

I was slapped across my face

and I was told not to tell lies.

This led me to withhold any

information about pain,

until finally I forgot the cause of it.

I had always thought that when

I had the childhood accidents

and after I had been sent back to the orphanages

after months of treatment,

I should have been suffering no more pain,

So the pain I suffered over all these years,

i.e. headaches, migraines, earaches, back pain and nose pain

I never connected them with my childhood injuries,

as I thought I had been healed.

I just thought the pain were the normal run of things.

That everybody suffered from them

in the normal course of life.

It wasn't until recently that I found this was not so.

I did not mind one little bit, offering my pain up to God

because I loved God so much.

What have you nuns and priest done to me?

that I should feel so low

about myself.

What have you done to all the

little innocent children (boys and girls)?

around the world in your

Catholic Church hell hole orphanages.

We. the little innocent children (Boys and Girls)

who were sexually abused

and abused of all kinds

in your very cold,

loveless orphanages

are the

MARTYRS and SAINTS

of today,

because we suffered every day

with our sweat and our blood

as you whipped us

and as you tortured us without mercy.

We shared our blood

in the name of God.