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Ann Free Spirit | Synopsis | Mother Francis of Rome | Rev. Fr. Thomas Doyle | We Stand By You Rev. Fr. Doyle | A Letter of Hope | A Little Help Fom a Friend | From a Friend | A Priest Doing God's Work | Innocents was Taken | Mr. Savano | Pope John Paul II | Pope John Paul II | Nun Suddened by the Truth | Shield accused nun | Abuse by nun's hands, not God's | Together we Stand | Priest Abusing Nuns | Next to Godliness.. | First Stirke Out | The New Cardinals | Catholic News Site | The Testament Site | Reaching: Out to Stuart & Paul | A Little Child Stands in Line | A Lonly Little Child | Nobody's Child | Rosary Beads in The Hall | I Give You My Hand In Friendship | When I Hear These Things | One More Nights Sleep | If Only | Humpty Dumpty | I Love You | Don't Let Go Until Tomorrow | My Dearest Lover | The Lonely Rose | How Did I Survive???? | Children Need Love | A Friend is What I Want to Find | I Give You My Hand In Friendship | When the Night Comes | Who Am I??? | There Are So Many Tears | Maria, What I see in You | Re-abuse | You Were Always Here With me | Fear Within 2003 | Elvis!!! | My Life Was Stolen From Me | God Is My Witness | I want My Freedom From My Torment & Pain | Give Me my Time to Heal. | Nuclear War | When the nuns had their fates | How do They Live With Themseleves? | Re-abuse 2002 | We Want Our Faith Back | Spiritual Abuse | My Faith was Strong | Trust was Broken | I Cry Each Day | Bless me Father | Hear our Cries | The nuns Picked on the same children | Apologize to us | Like Saints and Martyrs | Half Truths | Tell The World the Truth | No More Lies | Nun wrongly claimed dead | Hurt so Bad | Acknowledgment & Justice | Innocent Unwanted Children of Nazareth House | My Family | Our Wedding Day 1965 | My Son Robert 1 | My Son Robert II | My Daughter Joanne | My Daughter Rachel | My Daughter Bridget | My Four Grand Children | My Mother's Family | Mother I | Mother I

Mr. Savano

I have read Mr. Saviano's story and what a harrowing story it is. That this animal of a man Holley who abused these innocent boys, who put all their faith into this so call man of God, who betrayed them just like a Judas.

 

Yes the many secrets I kept in fear that I would be told that I was a liar as well as I was the evil one in the name of God and how I did not want to tell anyone ever, because to question the priest was to question God. So therefore I knew that I would be told yet again that the devil was in me and he had made me do it.

 

How does a child know who to turn to, when the Catholic Church, the priest and also the nuns are doing these horrible things to them, it has taken me years to confront my abusers and still I can not say to them yet,

 

YOU DID THIS TO ME.

 

The church for me was my safe place when I was a little child but since I was sexual abuse by a priest, I can not go to Mass or stay there. I can not even go to church for Christmas Mass, it kills me to go to church, I just cry and what the priest did to me flows back so I leave.

 

Does the Catholic Church really know how their abuse, of the priest and nuns have effected us in the long run?

 

This abuse of the Catholic Church started in 1943 to 1965 and my life as being a life of hell on earth. I have not and can not forget what I was put though by the priest and nuns.

 

I was working for the Greys and I was 19years old, I was taking nightmares every night and crying at night, I did not know what was wrong with me. The nightmares were about Nazareth House nuns/priest, at that time I could not get what happened to me out of my mind and what the priest had done to me, I did not want to go to Timaru because I though the priest would come again to see me, I never went out. So I broke the big plate in the water and then with the sharp edge of the plate I slashed my right wrist. When I saw all the blood I got frighten so I got a nappy and wrapped it around my arm and then run to the next door neighbours who took me to Timaru Hospital were I stayed for about 2weeks or more. The Dr. kept asking me if I was committing suicide, I was so scared about what they would do to me, so I kept saying no.

 

Thank god the priest did not come because I know I would have made a better job of killing myself. When I was on the operation table I could see myself being operated on, I was floating in a bright light looking down at myself. To this day I am sure that I had died away back then, if only the Dr. had left me to die I would not be doing this now.

 

When I was 12years I tried to commit suicide by jumping out of our dormitory window which was on the 3rd floor of Nazareth House, I did not want to live anymore, the police did not help me so what was the use of my life at Nazareth House. No one wanted me and I was no bodies child. I could not open the windows wide enough because I could not get the piece of wood which was nailed 6ins above the bottom window so I could not move it.

 

I also told you about Christmas 2001 when Eileen and I went to Nazareth House at 8/30am to get some photos of ourselves while at Nazareth House, over the phone I was told yes to come at that time so we did, we had to go to mass first and then went into a room were Sister

=Ildevonic= have not spelt this name right. Well she gave us a cup of tea and went out to come back with Sister Bemard Mary, and then to be told that the nuns would not give us the photo because of what I had done. I put this down about St. Josephs, because I had not taking Nazareth House then, until Bishop John has sent me an email which I gave to you. Don't forget Gail wants a copy of that letter so could you please send it to her as well as my Affidavit which she also wants.

 

I am sorry for not telling you all about this but I thought that you and your workers would think how silly I was to try to kill myself if I told you, I look bad enough in all your eyes so I only told you a bit about it, but I never lied to you, I told you only what I wanted you to know about that part in Timaru when I tried to kill myself. And I never wanted to tell anyone about when I was 12years old.

 

You need a good lawyer like ours in New Zealand,

 

Mr. Stuart Henderson, NEED I SAY MORE. yes he is angry with what he hears about us and he has gone out of his way to help us in ways that he can as our lawyer.

 

HIS HONESTY OF OUR CASE IS BEING UP FRONT WITH US FROM THE START AND IF WE COULD NAME OUR SAINTS HIS NAME WOULD BE AT THE TOP OF THE LIST AND MARIA HE WOULD TAKE THIS WITH A PINCH OF SALT, HE IS THAT MODEST.

 

They have taken all of this on to themselves, like as if they are the nuns we have named. Sister Bemard Mary has taken our case on to her self, which is not right for us. She has been accused of the self same offences They think that if we see them on TV enough doing the good things, we will give in to them.

 

To me Sister Bemard Mary is doing this to frighten us, but I am not a little girl any more. My mind may be still as a child, but I know who did this to me.

 

The nuns taught me well, Stuart. They can not put their lies on to me anymore. When we were in their care we were punished because they made up lies about us. They always did put on a good front when they wanted people to take notice of them. They sit behind workers who do all of their work and they take all the praise.

 

Just ask Eileen about her time when she did nursing for them and how they treated her, ask her also about another lady who worked with her at Nazareth House at the same time. (Heather)

 

Ask all of us who did the work when we were young girls at Nazareth House and see what reaction you get. We were their slaves and did all the work while they walked around with canes and their belts to whip us with when we stopped because we were tired.

 

It is not the nuns nor the priest of today, do I blame for what was done to me.m But I would like them to know that I need to tell them and for them to see and hear for themselves what was done to me by their Order of nuns, while at Nazareth House, how it is still affecting me.


 I have tried and tried to forget about it, so it does not come into my every day life, but it is something that keeps creeping back which is just as bad each time.

I thought that it would be easier with time, but it is not. If only I had being killed when the nuns beat me up, because I would not be living a life of hell now.


 They have not got the foggiest idea the effect it has taken on my every day life. I know by watching them on TV. that they have taken this on to themselves. If only they could hear me once and for all, to listen to my story and say ""Hay this is just like what we have been hearing from other ladies and men in our other Nazareth House Orphanage's all over the world"


                                

Sister Bernard Mary


 

 This nun Sister Bernard Mary looked after the children in the Australia Nazareth House and was the head nun of all Nazareth House in the world. She was reported as dead while half way through her case and came over to New Zealand. I will now give you some thing I have got out of the papers about her and if you see a 60mins TV from Australia when she was found in

New Zealand, you will get this from Australia 60mins.                     .

This nuns is also wanted in Scotland, England, Ireland and Australia


She has not legally come forward to tell the world that she is alive and in very good health. Sister Clare Breen did say that she herself was now head nun of Australia and New Zealand now. Look here you Nazareth House nuns come clean with the truth once and for all. I would like to know who is the head nun of the New Zealand and the Australia Nazareth House Rest Homes?


Why don't you tell us that Sister Bernard Mary is not dead and that Sister Bemard Mary is still head nun, not Sister Clare Breen. And most of all, Sister Bemard Mary should not be going into mediation with the abuse Children of Nazareth House New Zealand, after all she is wanted in Australia. Why don't you Nazareth House nun tell us the truth for once.


I for one have heard nothing but lies from you Nazareth House nuns and come on you court judges and police take a very good look at the news papers going back years before Sister Bernard Mary took up her wings in the sky (God forbid) and then miracle of miracle she came back to life to haunt the Children she abuse in the 1940s to 1960s in Australia. Take heed of the different stores that the nuns have told us about her death in court, what was said then and what the nuns are saying now and I would like the real head of Nazareth House rest homes to stand up and tell us the truth for once.


Fr. Frank and a lady Pat had arranged for me to go to Church on Sunday 20th October 2002 last week, so without hesitation I said that I would go. I thought this would be good, I had met Fr. Frank so I should be alright. She picked me up for the family mass, that was OK, but I could not stay in church for too long, I ended up so upset that I had to leave.


Stuart, I can not do it, I still see the priest who sexual abuse me and as for the nuns, it all flows back as ifI am a child again, I just set and cry. It hurts me so much that I can't stand to be there I am sure to go to hell


It is not the nuns nor the priest of today, do I blame for what was done to me. But I would like them to know that I need to tell them and for them to see and hear for themselves what was done to me by their Order of nuns, while at Nazareth House, how it is still affecting me.


I have tried and tried to forget about it, so it does not come into my every day life, but it is something that keeps creeping back which is just as bad each time.

I thought that it would be easier with time, but it is not. If only I had being killed when the nuns beat me up, because I would not be living a life of hell now.


They have not got the foggiest idea the effect it has taken on my every day life. I know by watching them on TV. that they have taken this on to themselves. If only they could hear me once and for all, to listen to my story and say ""Hay this is just like what we have been hearing from other ladies and men in our other Nazareth House Orphanage's all over the world"


                    28th October 2003

 

Yes what I write is what happened to me as a little girl in Nazareth House home and I write also how it made me feel at that time and what I use to thinl. So the little girl in me is telling her story so she can brake free from her pain, hurt, tonnent and suffering.


I think once I have the little girl in me safe is when I will be ready to let this fear go from me which I have for the nuns and priest. We are both hurting so much and with our time with the Nazareth House nuns coming I want her to have her say with these nuns.


God, it is so hard to control all the pain within me. Don't these nuns know what we are suffering because of their abuse to us?


I have my stone and I have one for Eileen and Frances as well, so we know that we have all the world in our hands and we know in our hearts, we are telling the truth to our lawyers, for we also have all the strength of the Nazareth House abuse children of years ago with us and that, is what I hold in my hands. While I hold my strength I will think of the other children, Q,ut only in spirit as what I have to tell the nuns and all of the other people at the mediation will be my story only, as I have a lot to tell. I have 24years of my young life of abuse to tell

and it will also be about how it felt then and how it is still affecting me now.

 

Suffering in silence no more, scared, angry and confused my long silence ended in 1997 "The most important thing is that when I leave here today, I will never again suffer the regret of not having told. 1 will be able to go home and tell my kids, 'Even though it took me a long time, I finally did the right thing and you can be proud of me.' "I have tried to put it behind me as I grew up, I married, had four children and now four grandchildren

 

I call out because of the pain I are in, it is too great and unless you yourself were treated the same why as me, please do not judge us all with your words.

I suffered abuse of all kinds as well as sexual abuse from the age of ISmonths at the hands of nuns, women, older girls and a priest up to the age of 24years old. Some are so bad that I can not put in writing nor tell anyone about them.

 

What gives you the right to be more holy than righteousness as to tell me how bad I am. To be still told now in my gentle years by you, how I have sinned because of telling of the abuse which was done to me, hurts me even worse than being abuse. How dare you judge me and others who had being abuse though out our childhood.

 

Unless you too have had the same life as me, do not judge me, have you not seen on this site what I have put here.

 

I know that god is my judge and I leave it in his hands to deal with these people who abused me, but I need to have these people to hear me. So what is an hour out of their lives to hear me.

 

GIVE ME MY TIME TO TALK AND TELL THEM SO AS 1 CAN HEAL.

 

And 1 say again unless you have gone though the same as me, please do not judge me and many of others who have been abuse by nuns and priest.

 

You do not know what I had to endure during these 24years and still now I can not cope with this pain, I need some one to help me to carry my cross as it gets heavy from day to day.

 

Every day there is a reminder of the abuse which the nuns/priest did to me and try as I might to forget it, I can't. To forgive no. 1 will let Jesus do that, as I can not, He is all forgiving. Jesus 1 am sure that you know what I am saying here as you saw everything that the workers, nuns and priest did to me, please forgive them as I can not. 1 am an empty shell, which the Nazareth House nuns left me and to live my life as a normal person should, I can not. Even now, my life  is a struggle for me, but as long as I am alive I will do all I can to bring justice to the unwanted abuse children of Nazareth House orphanages world wide.

 

Yes each time I talk about the abuse which was done to me or any of us, it is like being abuse again and again and what's more if I see TV, read the papers it brings every thing back as if it was today that it happened to me. The words were very bad, which was said to us as well as sexual abuse from 18months on,.

 

So please give me my time now as I put everything to the back of my head to try to forget about it, so now that I have come forward, I want to help others by being their voice, to be heard for them.

 

I am going to stop running from my abusers the Roman Catholic Church, Nazareth House nuns/priest, I am going to face them to let them know what abuse they did to me and also how it effected me when I was a child growing up in their catholic orphanages and how it still is affecting me.

 

These nuns/priest, I hope to have their eyes and ears open while I not only tell them what they did to me, but also show them by my many scars I have within and on my person.

 

As I have gone though these past years since 1997 to recall what was done to me is just as bad as when the abuse was cast upon me those many ears ago, because it has always being in the back of my mind and as the night time falls, comes the shadows of darkness which brings on the night mares were I relive my childhood yet again and again.

 

So come this Wednesday all hell will brake lose while I let the demons from the past come forward with all their hate, cruelty and abuse of all kinds, to release them back where they came from. I need clean air to breath and to see for myself that there is good in me I want the evil that the priest and nunS put in me to leave once and for all.

 

I don't want to go to my grave as I came in to this world, not because of my mother but what the roman catholic church nuns/priest made of my childhood which I have endured all my life.

 

               Bishop  Pat's  Appeal  Auckland.

 

I read with disgust an appeal from the Catholic Church for an appeal to help Bishop Pat's funding to help pregnant girls. Considering how I was treated, this was very upsetting to me. You will notice that the money is not coming from the Church itself, but from Parishioner's own pockets. In a way they are paying twice. Once by their taxes and secondly by their contributions to the Bishop.

 

One; when the girls go on the D.P.B.

Here we have a Bishop saying he will help pregnant young girls and woman, not by church money, as he has stated. But from the parishioner's own pockets.

 

When I was an orphan under their care, I was maltreated and abused for all my early life. Told I was no good, full of evil, because my mother had the misfortune to become pregnant out of wedlock and beaten as a consequence for even the smallest of misdeeds or mistakes, because of it. Stating it was because of what my mother had done.

 

My mother was raped: = Now I need you to apologize to me, for what you did and said to me about my mother.

 

Where was the Bishop Then?

 

Where was the Church?

 

They were so full of self-righteousness. They couldn't see the hell they made of our lives. They preach abstinence before marriage and then turn around and pay young girls to keep their babies.

 

Why has the church stooped so low?

 

To me this has gone against all that I know about marriage and staying a virgin. I feel they should be putting more effort and funds into teaching youngsters about staying a virgin. At the moment they bury their heads in the sand and refuse to even acknowledge the subject. This is a doctrinal thing. They say that the use of protections is immoral!

 

If the young girls and boys are told of the consequences, of their actions and the precautions that they can take. At least they then will be able to proceed with their eyes open. It will make, some of them at least, wary of blind, excuse the expression, fumbling and the all too often results of young lives ruined before they have a real chance at life. This usually means the girl is the one left to carry the baby while the male goes on, quite often ignoring his responsibilities.

 

Why not tell the boys to stay virgins; also?

 

I can not believe that the Roman Catholic Church is paying young girls to have babies, after what they did to me. I was a Baby of the same circumstance, they are talking about now. Rave they looked at the long term affect, it will have on the baby? What about when the child is much older, will they pay for all of the child's schooling? Note; = That it says family life.

 

I have seen, on the Internet, that Virginity is the in thing, in Australia. The Church and schools could focus on this. Damn sight cheaper in the long run.

 

It will take all the "organizations" to set this matter right. The Church is the greatest power in some people's lives and by being the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff they are aiding and abetting the problem.

 

It appears they are two-faced about it. They thunder from the pulpit 'No! Be a virgin'. Then pay the girls to hang on to their babies.

 

Surely a little thinking applied, in the right area, by so powerful a church would result in making the young peoples lives happier and healthier. Of course you won't be able to stop all unwanted pregnancies, but, at least should be able to cut down the numbers and the resulting unhappiness it causes.