Bow and Marjorie Peyton (who were sisters) and Cochi O'Neillooked after us from little babies to the age of five years. They looked after me and the fear that I had for them, was me being a little lamb, while they were the violent tiger.

They would come and sit on the edge of my bed just before the lights went out,

then they would start scratching their feet on the wire of my bed. I would lay as still as I could and pretended to be asleep, because I knew what they were going to do to me later that night. I couldn't move or go anywhere, from this.

God this is hard! I hate telling you about this, it is as though I can see them.

I can't stand the way it still makes me feel after all these years.

They did these horrible sexual things to me and then they would force me with violence to do things to them.

I have never told anyone about this, because I feel so dirty and it makes me shudder and tremble, cry and so angry when ever I think of them. 1999, was the first time I told anyone about this. To think that adults who were put in charge of little children took advantage of the opportunity and abused me. Sexual, Mentally, Verbally, Emotionally, Molested, Raped and Humiliated us. Is beyond me.

The sexual abuse started when I was in the nursery, in their care. Which was for little babies up to the age of five years. Then I was sexual abuse continuously from the age of five to ten years, until I went to Nazareth House. It also happened there too.

3 older ladies and 5 girls sexual abused me at S1' Joseph's, from a baby to ten years.

How could they do this to me?

They violated me in all ways and ruined my life.

Now that you also know I won't be able to look you in the face, because of the shame I feel. Please do not ask me to tell you in what way they did these things to me, because I can not tell you. They hurt me too much to even think of them now.

I will not put my children through what I went through. My shame stays with me. Not my children.

Why did they do this to me? My life is gone.

 SEXUAL ABUSE.

 This is highly confidential and I entrust this in the security of your care.

Marjorie and Bow Peyton and Cochi O'Neil would come to my bed, strip me then one of them would sit on my face, while the other one would push my legs apart and touch my vagina. They would put things up me, then they would make me lick them.

This was very painful. I hated it and I knew that it was dirty. I was so scared, because they would locked me in the broom cupboard afterwards.

 I did not know that this was sexual abuse nor did I know anything about sex until I was twenty-four years old, when I married my husband Brian. I could not make

any noise or they would sit on me harder. I did not know that this was wrong, because the three older ladies who were looking after us, were doing this to me.

 In the attic the five girls, after they made me drink their urine, would get in a line and then take their pants off, push me on to my knees, while pulling me around by my hair and get me to lick their vaginas.

 I could not get away from this. At school when I wanted to go to the toilet I would wait for as long as I could and in the end I had to go or I would wet myself. I would be slapped across my face. I knew that the older girls would be waiting for me, outside.

 When I went back to school I would be crying and so upset, the nuns would ask me why I was so long and I could not tell her, because the big girls had told me that they would get me again. They were always somewhere waiting for us, it happened to some of the other girls as well.

 I felt trapped, no matter what way I tried to get away from this.

Because if I stayed in the classroom I would get slapped across my face for wetting my pants and the girls would be waiting for me outside as well.

 I could not see any way out of it. I could go to no one for help.

It was as if I was not actually there, as though I was numb. = [ Blank] in mind,

but not in body. I could feel everything that they did to me and my body.

The fear, that I had for the nuns and the older girls was the worse thing that I had to endure. I am still afraid of people and I cope better with children than adults.

ADOPTION.

The children who had no parents were lined up each Sunday morning outside for adoption. We would all set up on a long stool and were looked over by adults, as though we were cattle. The feelings we had when no-one picked us are something that I will never be able to explain, but I felt it again last year. May 1999.

4 May 1999. l-phoned Sister Teresa in Auckland and requested details of the time,

I spent at St. Joseph's orphanage. I never expected what I received in the mail to my request and experienced again the feelings of rejection when I read the report:

I was put up for adoption not three times, but four. Once at St. Joseph's Orphanage

and three times at Nazareth House.

I don't remember being adopted to Fletcher's at St. Joseph's, orphanage but I do remember being put up for adoption to Fletcher's at Nazareth House.

Just look at this piece of paper. Is this all I was worth as a child? To be damped from

one person to another, and when they were tied of me, they took me back for more torment and pain.

I wasn't even given a change. [5 days.] I have now being ripped apart. .

I feel like a little girl again, going through that abuse again, but this time it's

different. It's heart wrenching.

I also asked for my medical records and any other records they had about me and

Sister Teresa told me that they had no medical records.

LAST DAY.

I was ten years old when I was sent to another Orphanage.

I was sad to see Mother Francis for the last time. She gave me a big hug and a kiss, which was the first and last until I was twenty-three years old.

She told me that Mary and Jesus were looking after me.

I will never forget her sweet smile.

We all had to go and there was panic, all of us screaming and running away from the nuns and hiding in the toilets. Because the cars had arrived to take us away.

Left 3 -1 -1946 for adoption by Mrs. Fletcher.