When I Hear of my Mother
I think of the hate you had For her
of the bad and hurtful words
you said to me

about her because of my birth

When I hear Elvis sing
I think when at the age of 15 years
a priest sexually abused me
so a thrashing across a bed
I got for the lies

the priest told of that day

When I hear of Joseph of many colors
I think of the first jersey
I knitted up in rib of many colors
which you took off me

and gave it to another girl

When I hear a baby or child cry
I think of the 3 Ladies
who sexually abused me
under the age of 5 years old
while in their care under the nuns

When I hear a drunken man
I think of the nursery
with drunken men swearing
outside the nursery door
while we slept

in our beds at night

 When I hear of Jesus  

I think about me
tied hand and feet to a bed
while naked being thrashed 
with 3 nuns around the bed

When I hear of the kitchen and cooks
I think of begging the nuns
not to thrash me
while on my hands and knees
until I could not walk

When I hear about a cellar
I think about being pushed
down the stairs to stay in there
without food or water hours on end
and the floor which I had to use
for there was no toilet down there

When I hear about the nuns
I think of the lies they told me
of me being an orphan child
of me being bold and dirty
of body, soul and my mind

When I hear of my mother
I think of the love I missed
as her children tell me
about her kindness
Her loving heart
she had for them all

When I hear about families
I think of the family I did not have
and how I find it hard to talk
to my brothers and sisters

I have now
as I am on the outside still looking in

When I hear about the church
I think of so many things
the nuns and priest who lied to me
of the fear of any priest

of whom I may see
tied hand and feet to the ends of the bed
like Jesus on the cross
of the nuns coming back from church